Real Talk with Isabel
Welcome to "Real Talk with Isabel"! Join life coach Isabel Franke as she delves into the raw and unfiltered aspects of life, love, and everything in between. From navigating the complexities of relationships and the dating scene to exploring spirituality and the journey of entrepreneurship, Isabel brings her unique blend of wisdom, humor, and insight to every episode.
Through candid conversations and thought-provoking discussions, Isabel shares practical advice, personal anecdotes, and empowering strategies to help you thrive in all areas of your life. Whether you're seeking guidance on matters of the heart, inspiration to pursue your dreams, or simply a dose of genuine connection, this podcast is your go-to destination for real talk and real transformation.
Get ready to laugh, learn, and be inspired as Isabel Franke takes you on a journey of self-discovery, growth, and empowerment. Tune in to "Real Talk with Isabel" and let's embark on this adventure together!
Real Talk with Isabel
Stop Overgiving and start owning your Power
Get ready to reclaim your energy and self-worth with me in this empowering episode of *Real Talk*! Ever feel like you’re always putting everyone else first, leaving your own happiness on the back burner? We’re diving deep into the sneaky signs of overgiving and how it’s quietly draining your well-being.
We’ll explore how these habits often stem from childhood and, more importantly, how to finally break free from the cycle of self-neglect. Imagine living a life where you prioritize *your* needs without feeling an ounce of guilt!
In this episode, we’ll master the art of setting boundaries—because protecting your energy is essential to creating healthier, more fulfilling relationships. It’s all about finding that sweet spot between caring for yourself and maintaining those connections that actually uplift you.
By embracing your inner superpowers and speaking up for what you truly need, you'll attract relationships that support your growth. Join me on this transformative journey, where your self-worth takes center stage, and mind, body, and spirit come into perfect harmony.
Subscribe, share, and let’s thrive together as we build a community centered around living authentically and unapologetically!
Contact For Real Talk with Isabel
Email: isabelmindbodysoul@gmail.com
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Website: https://isabelhealing.com
Hi and welcome back to Real Talk with me, isabel Frank. I've never actually done a legit recording of myself this way, so this is me doing the legit recording of myself this way. Anyhow, we'll see how this works and then how I upload it. But regardless of that, welcome back. It's been a while since I've been on.
Speaker 1:I've been really trying to figure out, like, what do I want to talk about? And I think we're going to talk about energy draining. There's been a lot of different scenarios, I think in the last like month or so, where I've just met a lot of people about it like been really energy draining. Now, they haven't drained my energy because I have boundaries, but I have been in relationships where I've seen them drain other people's energies and I'm just like can't avoid it. It's there.
Speaker 1:But why do we attract these people into our life? What is it about us that brings in energy drainers and how do we change this? How do we change it? Why? How do we change it? Why do we get involved in it? Like all these different things, like I will tell you that 100% of you guys have probably experienced some type of energy retaining relationship or friendship in your life. Like think about it this way Did you have a relationship or friendship in your life and when you were around these people, there were so many signs and symbols that we'll talk about, but, like, maybe you gained a lot of weight, maybe you felt really negative about yourself, maybe you were just in a hole and you couldn't figure out why and you just were really drained and all these different things.
Speaker 1:And then, as soon as they left your life, you had this like glow up. Now I know for sure that we have been in this situation, as we've been in relationships and had this glow up. I had a glow up after my divorce. I had a glow up after my last breakup, like glow up. I actually feel the relationship I'm in actually heightens me right now. So I think I'm just in a glow up for a different reason, but regardless, um, glow up, right. So, and the reason I had to glow up is because I'm no longer in that negative space. I'm no longer giving my energy to somebody else in that way. So what does it mean?
Speaker 1:When we talk about overgiving in relationships, what is that right? And here's the thing that I'm going to say when we overly give? A lot of us have been doing this since our childhood. Why? Because we were taught to basically put ourselves second. Everybody else comes first. It's selfish if you put yourself first, right, treat your neighbors as you treat yourself. But like we kind of ignore the part about treating ourselves and we go into whole thing of like, oh, I got to treat my neighbors right, I got to give them all my energy, right, and it's. That's, here's the thing. No, no, you got to put yourself first, okay, and when we're overly give, it's not a, it's not reciprocated, naturally, like meaning that usually when we're overly giving, this isn't meaning that we're giving to a relationship where it's reciprocated back to us. Overgiving means that we're giving to a relationship that is not reciprocated back to us, and that's what it really kind of comes down to and a lot of us.
Speaker 1:This is kind of a tricky thing because I can hear my guys and their chatty Cathy's right now and I'm like okay, I wanted to really stay focused and talking about overgiving, but really honestly, overgiving is a trauma response. I said it. Thank you guys. Will you please stop talking now Because they're like can we talk about overgiving being a trauma response? What I mean? People pleasing overgiving. However you want to word it.
Speaker 1:It comes from a place of us where we have learned how to train ourselves that this is quote are like this is the way that somebody is going to love us, this is the way we're going to get attention, this is the way that we're going to get acknowledgement. This is the way that we're going to. However, it is right and so overgiving is really it's not being able to really receive love and there's an imbalance in receiving love. So this could be in the sense that you don't know how to receive love, okay, but you're giving in hopes that maybe you're going to receive love, or because it really makes you feel good, or because this is quote what you were taught to do. Right, but if you can't really accept love from others, you don't know how to accept love from others. You've never received love from others. It's just kind of leaves you kind of empty, and then you're in this like spiraling, spiraling, spiraling, spiraling, spiraling, spiraling, and it's burdensome, it's exhausting, it is tired and you might be an over giver and you're giving too much.
Speaker 1:If you're really putting the needs of others before yourself, that's like the bottom line answer. If you're putting the need of others before yourself, you are definitely overly giving and you feel really bad about it. It's like you have this sense of like oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I can't do that for you, or I'm sorry, blah, blah, blah. You feel bad if you can't give the way that you think you should give. I'm putting all these quotes up in the air Because you shouldn't feel bad. It's okay to say no, okay.
Speaker 1:And so at the same time you're also like wait a second. Your friend or your lover or whoever partner can ask you like could you do A, b, c, d, e for me? And you're like yeah, yeah, sure, great, great, great. But then when you need something, you feel so uncomfortable to even ask. It's like the thought of you asking is like ridiculous. It's like I don't think I can actually ask for what I need. That's kind of an issue. I want you to understand that you should feel free to ask, especially if you're having sex with somebody, like I wanted. I want you to know. I've struggled with this Like how do I ask for something from somebody that I feel I need? Because I'm like wait a second. Why do I feel bad for asking? And I'm like I shouldn't feel bad. They're up in my hoo-ha. I don't feel bad. No, if I'm giving you this, I should feel comfortable with asking. So I'm telling you guys, right now, if you are in a relationship and you feel bad for asking them for something and they're up in your hoo-ha, you do not feel bad because, child, you have the right. Okay, you have the right.
Speaker 1:But people are confused the constant giving with love, thinking that the more they give, like I said, the more they're going to be appreciated. And that's not, not the truth. So really, look at, like, why are you giving this way? Like are you an over giver? And, honestly, like, if you keep doing this and you're not open and you don't know how to receive love, because I'll bet you guys really don't know how to receive love. Here's the thing. If you're like, wait a second, well, do I? Do you feel uncomfortable with compliments? Do you feel uncomfortable with people putting the intention on you? Do you feel this uncomfortability? Because then that's probably the answer to the fact that you are not comfortable with receiving love.
Speaker 1:Okay, um, overgiving, I love the fact like so oftentimes, when I do like energy clearings, I see, like this gas tank and we have like this energy gas tank in us and we are constantly draining our tank and giving and giving and giving, and when there's no more gas in our tank, we're giving energy out of all these parts of our body and it's why we're exhausted, it's why we're tired. But how do you fill your gas tank? Is with putting yourself first, is your self love, and also other people can fill your gas tank, but that never should be somebody's like part of it, okay. So why do we, why do we overly give?
Speaker 1:Overly giving is often, like I said, a form of people pleasing, okay, and the ultimate fear of a people pleaser is to be rejected. Is to be rejected, right, like wait a second, I'm doing all this stuff for you and then you're going to reject me. Like, who does that? But it's trauma response. You guys Like, again, people pleasing. Overly giving is a trauma response, okay, and it's a habit that you have really built into your identity, all right.
Speaker 1:So, like I said, sometimes people pleasers, overly givers, are on this quest of affection and approval and they don't even know who they are, like you guys are. So, after wanting people to approve you and affection, that you don't really even know your own values. You don't even know what actually makes you happy. You think, oh well, making other people happy is what makes me happy. Bullshit, bullfucking shit, bullfucking shit. I love my job. I love helping people find their truth and authenticity. I love watching people heal. I do actually feel really happy when people are happy, but at the end of the day, that's not. My happiness is not defined by that. I define my happiness in who I am, in my values, showing up for myself, in my success, working out, enjoying my life, my family. I know what my values are. You cannot sit here and say that's what it is.
Speaker 1:A lot of times, people are overly in this people-pleasing mode because they don't even really know who they are and they don't really want to look at it. I'm totally calling you guys out today. Like I'm completely calling you guys out If you're like wait a second, I don't know what makes me happy. I have no idea what my values are, and I'm not talking about mommy and daddy's values, and we all take mommy's and daddy's values as your, our own. They're not your own. You all have to define whatever your own values are. Quit running to mommy and daddy values.
Speaker 1:Like look at your values, stop being a puppet, stop being allowing yourself to be manipulated by everyone else? Right, stop letting other people's moods affect you. Okay, look at really. Like, who are you? What do you want to do? All right, what is like? What is your superpower? I love that.
Speaker 1:I just heard that with the guys and what we mean by what your superpower is like. What makes you so great about you? What is great about you? Right, like, what is that? And you guys have to really give yourself permission to be like okay, wait, I don't have to make everyone a priority. I'm safe in doing that. No one's going to hate me because I said no, and if they do F them, they're not meant for you.
Speaker 1:If somebody talks down at you because you didn't put them as number one priority, they have no fucking boundaries and they're not meant to be your friend or anyone. You should be in a relationship with right. I'm all for valuing our partners. I'm all for checking in with our partners, putting our partners as a priority, but don't forget who you are right. Don't forget who you are. Your choices, your feelings, your thoughts, your actions those are your responsibility. They are not your partner's responsibility. So quit letting your partner or your friends define that by how you show up for them and then they give you that back. Okay, no, like your choices, your thoughts, your actions, your feelings, those are all that are your own responsibility. Right, you have the power to choose what you want to do for yourself. You have the power to say no, all right, and I get it.
Speaker 1:I get it because you people pleasers are confident, quiet, little people that don't like conflicts, and you're really uncomfortable with it and you have a really hard time disagreeing with somebody and you're like let me compromise, let me just make everybody feel okay, happy, even though this may not really be what I want, it's okay, not a big deal, I'll get what I want next time. Own your stuff, own it, own it, own it, own it, own it, own it. Okay, I want to look at a fact that what are signs that you are not being appreciated? Lack of acknowledgement number one. Lack of acknowledgement Number one when you put in an effort but it goes unnoticed or unappreciated.
Speaker 1:Okay, like I showed up to an event for you that I did not have to go to. I'm constantly showing up to things that aren't maybe of my liking, but I'm there for you, I'm there to support you, and they don't even see that, they don't even notice that, wow, you didn't have to come, but you came because of me, right? Or maybe somebody is really tired and exhausted and you're like let me take care of you, I'm going to make dinner for you, I'm going to do this for you, and they don't give a crap, they walk all over you, okay. So these little small gestures, yes, they should be valued, but when they're not, on a consistent basis, something to really look at, it's really something to look at. Okay. It's basically like are they showing up for you in other ways? You value them, you go out of your way. Maybe somehow they're going out of their way for you.
Speaker 1:Yes, it doesn't always have to be like, well, I did for you, you did for me. No, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not saying that, I'm just saying is it constantly overlooked? On a very constant basis, they're always wanting more from you, but they're never like there's not a balance of this. You'll know if there's a balance One-sided communication If you're always the one reaching out, making plans, solving problems. These people come to you with all their, their, their oh, let me tell you what so-and-so did to me, let you, let me tell you my drama, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Help me solve this problem. But as soon as it's about you, they're done, they're checked out. They're not even freaking, listening. They're not even listening to you, okay, one-sided communication.
Speaker 1:You're feeling drained or not fulfilled? Okay, so I hang out with you, we enjoy our day, but I leave and I'm emotionally drained, I'm physically exhausted, I'm really tired. That is not something. Maybe you get really anxious about being around these people because you're like I don't really want to be around them. I feel like crap when I'm around them. I'm really exhausted and tired around them. I don't like it.
Speaker 1:This is as far as to go, even to say it's family members Okay, like there are family members who are energy vampires okay, where they have this weird expectation that you have to do for them. They have to be the center of priority. Dah, dah, dah, dah, dah dah. And you're always like I don't really want to hang out because I'm really tight and drained. I have family members like that, like I really really do. Um, don't do it guys. Just just don't do it. It's not, it's not worth it. It's not worth it. Okay, you, you don't want to be in this constant state even of disappointment. So, maybe, like you are with somebody and you're always disappointed, they're always letting you down, you're frustrated. It's like constant, constant, constant, constant, constant. This is something you really need to look at, like I don't really think this is a relationship that's a value or you should be in. I find it interesting as a psychic person how many times I get questions about like relationship, relationship and love questions, and most of these people that are asking is so and so, going to call them so and so going to come back is so and so going to this.
Speaker 1:Most of you guys are in relationships that are unbalanced. Most of you guys are in relationships where you're the one constantly reaching out and doing. Most of you guys are in relationships where you were the one constantly reaching out and doing. Most of you guys are relationships where you were the over giver and you've trained yourself that that's okay. It's not. Like, why are you going to be in a relationship where the other party is never reaching out? Why are you going to be in a relationship where this other person is not showing up for you? Like, why are you going to be in a relationship where you're constantly frustrated, disappointed and mad because they let you down? Like, do you not value yourself? Do you not know your worth. I mean honestly, I understand if you don't, because I'm coming from a place where I've been in relationships that I was undervalued, that I didn't know my worth.
Speaker 1:Like my last relationship completely blamed me for the failure of his business. Like what we had COVID. Like your business did not fail because of me. I'm not in control of your thoughts, your actions, your choices. I'm not in control of what you do. Like no, that was definitely like I've overgave myself to you. I provided for you, I overgave myself, I tried to make your life easier and you did nothing. You did not reciprocate that in whatever shape, way or form. And when I asked you for reciprocation, I felt bad about it. I felt wrong for it. You put me down for it. You got mad about it. You said things that were hurtful, like that was not a relationship that was balanced.
Speaker 1:When I tell you guys the things that were said, like you would be like what the hell? Like, what the hell? Like I don't even care. This person, literally I was like hey, can you give me half a rent? And they were so mad about it. They literally were like why am I going to pay for rent for a house that I didn't choose to live in. Excuse me, did you choose to move your shit in here? Did you choose to move into the house? You didn't have to. You didn't have to move in. So I get it. This was my purchase because it was my money, my home, but you chose to move in. Money, my home, but you chose to move in. Make that make sense, like, make it make sense.
Speaker 1:Okay, overgiving narcissistic group. That's literally what that is, okay. So I know you guys love when I give you my little like tea bits of my life and my history and my story, which I'm probably going to be sharing a lot more of. All, right, I think, with a lot of it I have. I also was a people pleaser and overgiver. I always wanted everyone to be content and I can easily fall into this very, very much. So I think I've learned a lot how to prioritize myself and how to pull back my energy and make myself, like I said, a priority, because it's not selfish, it's self-care.
Speaker 1:Okay, know that you pulling back isn't about being selfish, it's about you understanding your boundaries. It's about you having balance in your life. Okay, it's like you have to have these boundaries in protecting your energy and having boundaries, which I said this in, like I don't know. I think I did a video, something, about boundaries and I basically was like, when we give boundaries, like people that don't have boundaries don't understand boundaries. So know that as you come to understand boundaries and as you learn how to create healthy boundaries, you may have people in your life that have no idea how to take it. They don't know what they are Basically. Boundaries for those are like, what are boundaries and how do you do this?
Speaker 1:Boundaries are rules. They are rules to give people on how they are supposed to interact with you, how they respond. They're guidelines. It's a guideline on how they are supposed to interact with you, how they respond. Okay, there are guidelines. It's a guideline. It's rules for how you identify yourself and what is safe, what is allowed for other people to behave around you.
Speaker 1:This is what I will accept for behavior around me. This is what I will accept for how others will respond to me. This is what I will accept, right, except for how, like, others will respond to me. This is what I will accept, right. But if you are just accepting whatever because you're like, well, I'm going to get, take whatever I can get, you don't have boundaries left, you don't have boundaries. I'm not going to allow whoever in my life, right, like if I have a sign that says, like, no solicitation, and then you cross that line of no solicitation to solicit me something. You have no boundaries. You did not read my boundary line.
Speaker 1:Okay, but you all need to have personal boundaries, okay. Everyone needs to have personal boundaries somehow, okay, having boundaries is a part of your self-care. It's a part of self-respect. It's having that self-respect. It's to communicate your needs in a relationship. It helps you make time and space for positive interactions. It's. Boundaries are a need. Okay, they are a need. Everyone needs boundaries, everyone does. Can boundaries change Abso-freaking-lutely? Can boundaries change with with the individual, to certain people, abso-freaking-lutely? But overall, you need to have boundaries, okay. But here's the thing Having boundaries also means that you can't control other people's behaviors.
Speaker 1:You can't make them respect your boundaries. You can't make them change. Okay, the only thing that you can control is yourself. That's it. You can only control yourself and how much you give or how much you invest your energy. That's all you can do. That's it. You can't make somebody change or become somebody that they are not. You cannot make somebody choose you because you gave, gave, gave, like I gave you my heart, I gave you my soul, I gave you my friendship. I gave you all this. Why are you not making me a priority? Why don't you see what I do? Why are you still talking shit about me? Why are you still putting me down Like, no, you can't do that. You can't do that.
Speaker 1:I had a friendship that way back when, way back when I'm going to go. She was my friend for a very long time but we started having issues like 25, 20 years ago, and one of the issues I remember is that she was going through a really big depression time. Like she was really depressed, she was really down and, um, I was just married. I was just married at the time that's how long ago it was and she was basically on like suicide watch and I was like part of watching her, like I, like I sat by her side. I didn't want to leave her alone. I was just married, like maybe a week into my marriage, for my honeymoon or something like that, and I was like at her side, like let me help you, I'm going to get you through this, we're going to get through this, all these types of things.
Speaker 1:Something happened, I don't remember, but I think I told her no, I honestly can't remember the conversation, but I think I told her like I couldn't be there for her, I had to go home or I had something to do, and it turned into this huge blowout how I was never there for her, I didn't make her a priority. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, like all of these things. And I remember throwing it back, like how could you say that? Like, look at everything I've done for you, look at our friendship over the years, look at blah, blah, blah, blah blah. But she couldn't see it.
Speaker 1:And I realized in that moment I can't control or change your thought process. You're going to view me the way you view me for whatever reason. Maybe it's your own issues, maybe it's your own not respect for yourself, or your own self-confidence issues. But I'm not going to sit here and allow you to talk down to me or tell me my own worth when I know my worth. I'm not going to allow it. And I walked away from that friendship in that moment. For quite a few years, we didn't talk in for at least five years, and then it came back around. Oh man, full circle came back around Great friendship again. And then the whole story in itself is another thing where I was like, wait a second, I got to set boundaries with you because, again, I can't control what you think of me or your actions, and that's a whole nother story for a whole nother freaking topic. But that was a quite interesting story because she really fucked up. I still don't get it to this day, but I think I do understand why she fucked up, but I don't want to admit it, but that's a whole different conversation. Anyways, okay, back to that.
Speaker 1:So, as we were talking about energy drainers, right, what are practical tips for, like, how can you like, pull back your energy? Right, how can you pull back your energy? Start small, don't be crazy and drastic. Just kind of start creating a little bit more space with the individuals, a little bit more time to yourself, right? Not maybe jumping into things like right away. As soon as somebody calls you and asks you, can you do blah, blah. Don't immediately go like, yes, I'm there. Like, don't drop everything. Make sure your to-do list is done, make sure you worked out, took a walk, took time for yourself, right, unless it's an emergency. But again, you dictate what's an emergency, because they may list everything as an emergency. So really, just take small steps, take more time for yourself before responding.
Speaker 1:Next is communicate clearly. Okay, let the other person know I need to put myself back, I need to take a step back, I need to make myself back. I need to take a step back, I need to make myself a priority. This is okay for you to do, especially in close relationships. But here's the thing Just because you tell them that, remember going back to boundaries, they may not like it. Notice that. Fyi, if they're like oh, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, like they might have something negative to say, whatever, like I don't give a fuck, I don't give a fuck, I gotta do what I need to do for me. You have your little opinion. Let them go dump their shit on somebody else. Don't be people's trash can. Don't be people's dump yard. Go, let them dump their shit somewhere else. They don't need to dump it on you. Why'd you let yourself take that shit? I'm sorry, I I'm getting too comfortable with y'all, but that's for real, though. For real, for real.
Speaker 1:Okay, you have to communicate clearly why you're taking a step back, because you need to understand that learning to vocalize and speak your truth is so important for you. Stepping in your confidence and in lining and speaking your truth is is really like setting your boundaries. Okay, set your boundaries. Sometimes people really need an opportunity to know. You might be surprised and somehow some people might show up and be like, oh my God, why didn't you tell me this sooner? I totally understand, all right.
Speaker 1:Most importantly, lean into supportive relationships, because they're definitely out there. All right, I want you to really look for relationships that appreciate you, that build you up, that support you, that are thinking like-minded of you, that value maybe what you value. Okay, that you don't have to change. You guys should never have to change for anybody. You shouldn't have to change to be what somebody's going to notice. Don't ever change because you're like trying to get attention or being noticed. Don't ever, ever, ever, ever, ever do that. Okay, don't do that.
Speaker 1:But you guys check in with yourself regularly, okay, if something doesn't feel aligned or fulfilled, maybe take a step back for a little bit. But see, is this where you need to be? I know that from me choosing myself. I have had more self-worth, I understand more who I am. I have better boundaries, I have more confidence in not only in me as a person, but me and my friendships, me and my relationships, me and my business I don't feel so negative, heavy or drained. When I do feel negative, heavy or drained, I've learned to take that as a sign that something's not aligned. Maybe I need time alone. Maybe I am over giving to a relationship or a friendship or somebody that's just like. It's not about them not giving. It's just that I'm not giving to myself and that you are your own responsibility. So take responsibility for that.
Speaker 1:Okay, but when you set your boundaries and stop over giving, you're going to start attracting people into your life that are more balanced and fulfilled. Right? A lot of people come like how can I attract this amazing partner, how can I attract these amazing friendships? And it sounds crazy when I'm like, oh, they'll come. When you have boundaries, when you understand who you are, when you stop overgiving Energy attracts energy Like. Attracts like. If you're low vibration and you're negative, you're depressed. You're going to attract low vibration, negative, depressed. If you're valuing yourself based on what everyone else has to say in their opinions, guess what? You're going to attract people in that manner and those aren't high value people Like those, aren't people like that. So just look at that, right, but we want. We want to be in things that are going to give us more energy more energy for ourselves, more time for ourselves. Just look at all these things.
Speaker 1:But it's quite interesting doing this business for so long, Like I've been a psychic medium for 10 plus years I've been a life coach. I've had my own life issues divorce, dating, relationships and friendships. It's just interesting to me to watch this roller coaster of relationships that I personally have allowed in my life, even as an ex-people pleaser. There's moments in my life where I will go backwards. There's moments in my life where I will be triggered because maybe I don't feel safe or I'm not allowing myself to be vulnerable, or whatever it is, and I go backwards. I start self sabotaging myself, right, and I'm just telling you this as like, maybe you've worked through a lot of crap, but you still go backwards Sometimes.
Speaker 1:Be patient, every change starts with an awareness. So just allow, wait a second. I'm seeing what's happening. I'm not liking this. I need to take charge of my energy, right, I need to take charge of my energy. I'm not going to allow myself to sabotage a relationship or friendship because, for some reason, I'm feeling a certain way about myself.
Speaker 1:Okay, so really really looks at that. If we don't want I say weeks I'm talking with my guides while I'm talking to you, but like we don't want you to feel emotionally empty, right, I always tell people everybody always forgets this one spirituality. It's mind, body and spirit, meaning that in Western thinking we've separated mind, we separated body, we separated spirit. But instead you need to look at it as mind, body, spirit. Your mind, your body and your spirit are all going to communicate to you when something's out of line. You're going to feel tired, empty and drained, and even emotionally and physically drained, and even emotionally and physically.
Speaker 1:If you're constantly over giving to situations right, if you are not taking care of your emotional needs but making sure everybody else's emotional needs are priority, stop. That's going to be a problem for you. That's going to be a problem for you. You should not be, and this is going to lead me to narcissistic relationships. But I'm not going to go there. You should not be afraid to tell your partner no. I'm afraid to tell my partner no because they're going to leave me. I'm afraid if I don't do this for my partner, they're going to leave me. No, I'm not necessarily telling you that that could be your own belief system. That may not be something that your partner is doing. That might be something that you believe, which is something that you can work on, you can heal and you can change.
Speaker 1:Okay, so I'm just felt like today was a day that we really had to sit down and look at this as like overly giving in situations, relationships and friendships, because I will say that we are all completely guilty of it and I think oftentimes it starts from a place of caring. It doesn't always start as a trauma think. Oftentimes it starts from a place of caring. It doesn't always start as a trauma response. It starts from a place of this is how I show care, this is how I show love. But if we're not, if it's not balanced and we don't feel balanced in ourselves, that's something that we really need to look at.
Speaker 1:Okay, I don't know really where I was going with this, this whole conversation today, but I thought why not throw a podcast out? And this was a topic that was coming up for me today. I talked about it on, like all my platforms today. So you know, here you are on this platform with me, but I really want you to take time to really reflect on your own relationships and really give yourself that permission to start making decisions that really honor your energy. Do these decisions, do these relationships honor your energy, your boundaries and your values for yourself? Okay, but I want you to go ahead. Leave a comment, drop me a question, find me on Instagram. Whatever it is. I want to know did this resonate with you? Did this resonate with you? Did it help you switch your mindset? Okay, Share this episode with a friend. But, um, all right, guys, subscribe for more conversations about this stuff self growth, spiritual care, random life, stuff that comes up, and I hope you guys have a great day. Bye.