Real Talk with Isabel
Welcome to "Real Talk with Isabel"! Join life coach Isabel Franke as she delves into the raw and unfiltered aspects of life, love, and everything in between. From navigating the complexities of relationships and the dating scene to exploring spirituality and the journey of entrepreneurship, Isabel brings her unique blend of wisdom, humor, and insight to every episode.
Through candid conversations and thought-provoking discussions, Isabel shares practical advice, personal anecdotes, and empowering strategies to help you thrive in all areas of your life. Whether you're seeking guidance on matters of the heart, inspiration to pursue your dreams, or simply a dose of genuine connection, this podcast is your go-to destination for real talk and real transformation.
Get ready to laugh, learn, and be inspired as Isabel Franke takes you on a journey of self-discovery, growth, and empowerment. Tune in to "Real Talk with Isabel" and let's embark on this adventure together!
Real Talk with Isabel
Growing Beyond Comfort Zones
Ever wondered if people genuinely crave change or if they're just enchanted by its allure? Special guest Ryan, also known as Red, joins us to pull back the layers on this age-old question. Through sharing personal tales and revealing observations, we explore how change requires more than just wishful thinking—it demands a shift in habits, environment, and mindset.
We then venture into how new surroundings can act as mirrors, reflecting hidden facets of ourselves that we might not always be ready to see. The conversation gets real as we discuss how stepping out of our comfort zones can spark genuine growth, while superficial changes only offer an illusion of progress. From dealing with jealousy and envy to understanding the unpredictable yet empowering nature of shaping our own futures, this segment is packed with insights and personal anecdotes that highlight the journey of embracing change.
Tune in for a thought-provoking conversation that blends humor, honesty, and practical advice, encouraging you to reflect and grow.
Contact For Real Talk with Isabel
Email: isabelmindbodysoul@gmail.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/franke.isabel/
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@isabel.franke?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc
Website: https://isabelhealing.com
Hey and welcome to another episode of Real Talk with Isabel. So on this episode we actually have a guest. He goes by the name Red. I am sure you guys have seen him on my TikTok lives with me and if you follow me on IG, well, you see us out and about all the time. Anyways, in this episode we're just kind of sitting down and talking about change. We have a lot of great discussions that I think we're probably going to be featuring more and more of. So I hope you guys enjoy, make sure you like this podcast, you share this podcast, you subscribe to this podcast, and I always like to hear back from you guys, so don't be afraid to shoot a message and leave a review. Those reviews help us go up and up and up. Okay, bye, hey, y'all.
Speaker 2:Hey y'all. I don't know the name of this podcast.
Speaker 1:You don't know the name of my podcast. No, what is it? It's just like Real Talk with Isabel oh God, what you don't like my name. It's cool, but talk with Isabel, oh God, what you don't like my name.
Speaker 2:It's cool, but you never told me.
Speaker 1:It used to be called Successfully Spiritual, because I felt like everybody's successfully spiritual and the whole point of the podcast was to highlight those that were successfully spiritual. And then now I just put real talk, because that's just what we I just like to talk and people like to listen. All right, so Ryan's here. I don't know who you are, ryan.
Speaker 2:Hi everybody. Welcome to the Real Talk with Isabel podcast. I go by the name of Ryan a rid. The exec, aka mr simple visions.
Speaker 1:The photographer, aka oh my god, how many akas do you have?
Speaker 2:that's all I got. I was gonna keep going, but um follow me on instagram at rid, I think it's oh, red underscore.
Speaker 1:He is literally just pitching himself right now.
Speaker 2:Let's see oh yeah, red, underscore, underscore the exec.
Speaker 1:But you said that if people follow you, you don't know them, you don't follow them back.
Speaker 2:It depends. I might open it up for the red one and then my photography page, simple visions underscore photography. That's S-I-M-P-L three, v-i-s-i-o-n-z underscore photography.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Five minutes into the podcast later, after all his info drops.
Speaker 2:I got to you know you got to sell it.
Speaker 1:Ryan takes pictures of me.
Speaker 2:I do, I'm a photographer.
Speaker 1:What's it?
Speaker 2:Soon to be emcee.
Speaker 1:What's Ryan, to you, my photographer.
Speaker 2:Soon to be emcee.
Speaker 1:Why do you say soon to be emcee? You are.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:All right, so we are going to do. I decided today let's talk with Ryan. We're going to do change. Sorry guys, this intro is not it right now, but that's all good.
Speaker 2:Change.
Speaker 1:Change Isn't there like a song? Change, that's rumors.
Speaker 2:Do people really want change? Or do they just say it because it sounds good? Because in order to have change, change you have to shift things, whether it be for you, you have to change the people around. You need to change your business, your work ethic, your guilty pleasures, whatever it is. Do people really want that?
Speaker 2:I think some do, some don't I think sometimes you do and sometimes you don't, yeah like I hear people I know in my community, like in the black community, we're always talking about change and overcoming and you have a lot of people out there putting in that work to bring that change. You do, you really have a lot of people out there on the front lines advocating doing the work, you know, doing a lot of the groundwork, trying to make that change. But then you also have people out there that they just talk about it shoulda, woulda, coulda and those are usually the same ones that complain when the things that they want changed aren't changed because, well, for one, they didn't put any effort towards it. And I'm not just saying black people, because that's my people, I'm just saying I just use that as an example. But like it doesn't have to be, there's all. It doesn't just have to be a certain group, it could be anybody.
Speaker 2:But not even let's take it, let's, let's, let's bring it back, and we'll just say, like growth. As far as let's say success, you have people that they say they want success but then when the opportunity presents itself to them and they pretty much lay it out for them, people don't want to take it. And the question is, why Are they scared? Are they afraid?
Speaker 1:I think it's comfortability. They're comfortable, I think people get comfortable, people get comfortable, and then you don't want to move. I deal with that all the time, where people always have like a fear of change, a fear of a fear, whatever it is, to move forward. Yet they want to move forward. I don't like change.
Speaker 2:I don't, I don't like change a lot of us don't like change, but yeah, you know, there's actual phobia.
Speaker 1:No huh, you know there's actual phobia.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:Huh, you know, there's a phobia for change. No, you do.
Speaker 2:No. I was going to say if you could say it Change-a-phobia.
Speaker 1:No, metatheosophia. Metatheia is so Okayso-phobia. At the end it's like a meta-thea-is-phobia. You got a whole phone right there, you could have looked it up Meta-thea-is-thea-phobia that's literally what it's called, which now is kind of weird because the meta is at the very front of it. But it's basically like people that are scared of change, like you're comfortable in your consistent place right now Because change is up you.
Speaker 2:I mean, there's been times where I didn't like change, but I knew it was.
Speaker 1:I mean, you live your life in change now. I mean, but we just had this talk yesterday.
Speaker 2:you don't live your life in permanency yeah, everything's temporary everything's temporary but I'm used to temporary, like I, I expect things to be temporary, but it's also like I understand nothing is forever. And I've learned, I've come to terms. The older I get and the more mature that I become, I understand that things are meant to happen, even when I don't want it to happen per se, because I always look at it like if I'm in a position, if I'm in a situation that I'm really comfortable in, and then out of nowhere it gets pulled from under me. Yeah, I'm really comfortable in, and then out of nowhere it gets pulled from under me. Yeah, I'm going to be mad and I'm going to be like this is, I'm going to be upset about it, but then I also know in the back of my head it's like something big, bigger and better. It's on the way. I just don't know what it is. And that's kind of how I've always lived my life, because and that's usually how it ends up Whether it be moving somewhere different, switching to people I might associate with I mean, you know, these past couple months, a lot of people that I used to associate with we fell out, they fell off, and at the time it was uncomfortable.
Speaker 2:We fell out, they fell off, and at the time it was uncomfortable. But after the smoke cleared, I was at, I was more at peace and a lot more opportunities started opening up for me. And I think that's why I'm learning that, just because you think something is for you, it's not always the case. It might. It might be good for you or right for you at that moment, but that doesn't mean it's always going to be right for you. So you kind of just have to embrace it, cause if you fight it, I feel like the universe has a way of like either either you gonna, either you gonna bring your ass, or, okay, I'm gonna drag your ass and you ain't. You know.
Speaker 1:You can't cuss on here, I'm joking. I'm joking. I think that's the way that most people are feeling right now. That was the month of June.
Speaker 2:What.
Speaker 1:June was just like the month that it was like the universe was just like get out of the way. Get out of the way we're gonna. Like, we're gonna throw this at you, like, whether or not you want it or not, like this is, this is your path, this is the way it needs to get lined up. And like, whether or not you're ready for it, like we're gonna remove these people out of our, your life.
Speaker 1:Like there's been a commonality with june for a lot of people with that no, I believe it I just don't know what july is now, but I know that that's been june has been a lot of change for a lot of people I feel like this has been the year 2024 has also been the year they. I read this there's supposed to be a year of, like, living our destinies well that, but they said 2024 is also the year of exposing well, that was that was literally starting at seven last year, because last year was this was seven and it was the year of spirituality and like secrets being unveiled you know.
Speaker 2:But I'm saying like for me, a lot of like. Like I said around the time I met you, that's when a lot of people's true colors started to show.
Speaker 1:But do you think that's because you met me? I'm being honest with that. I'm not even trying to be like. I just find a very commonality with this.
Speaker 2:I think you played a role, but not in the way of like. That wasn't the intention. You didn't come in.
Speaker 1:No, no, you didn't come in at all, no you didn't come in to shake things up.
Speaker 2:I think it's just the way the universe because, like I said, like um, a lot of things got exposed, unintentionally, yeah, like a lot of things. Like when you met me and the people that I was around, they exposed a lot of things to you about me that they wouldn't have done with other people but they did do it with other people yeah, but yours was very like aggressive aggressive.
Speaker 2:They threw it all. They threw the book and it was just they threw the book, they threw the book. It was just interesting because people started showing the envious and jealousy. A lot of it didn't make sense to me.
Speaker 1:I think that goes back into what you're saying. If we would look at the whole bigger picture, I think that a lot of people did that because they were scared of change.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think the hardest part for me with that whole ordeal was the jealousy and envy, because I'm one of those people if I bring you into my circle, it's all love, it's not. I've never been one of those people that felt like, why is this person doing better than me? Oh, this person is outshining me. I look at it like you shine, we all shine. It's like you have your thing, I have mine. It might not be the same, you know. Sometimes you might be like dang, why are you getting the same that this person getting? But it's not in a way of like you, just you are envious or jealous of that person. You just trying to figure out okay, what do I need to do?
Speaker 1:But you know, so why do you think people are scared to change?
Speaker 2:because they don't know the outcome yeah they don't know.
Speaker 2:But then it's interesting because they'll say they, you know. They'll say they want to do something and instead they'll take the cheaper route or the short route and they'll change something. But it's like I call it a cheap $2 change, like, oh, I want to work with everybody, but then they go work with a certain group and that group that they're working with is just as small as their group. So they might expand, but they're still going to be a small group. They're not going to expand it to a larger audience. They think they're expanding into a larger audience but when in reality they're baby stepping it they're not even baby stepping, they just sidestepping.
Speaker 2:They're still going to be a small group.
Speaker 1:They just got with another small group, but even though, let's say, both those groups are together, we're not trying to say the whole, but you're like, let me explain the story without explaining the story but I'm saying if you take two small groups, you might be a big small group, but you're still a small group because you're not step, you're not advancing to the next level.
Speaker 2:And I think that's what people do. Sometimes they say they want to go to the next level, and I think that's what people do sometimes. They say they want to go to the next level, but they really don't. But they think by branching with another group or associating with certain people, that's the expansion. But the reality is you're still in the same space. You just have another group with you, if that makes sense.
Speaker 1:It's like fake change.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 1:It's like I'm going to grow and I'm going to expand, but I'm not really going to grow and expand. I'm going to grow and expand in the safety and confines of my own comfortability, which I think everybody really wants to do, but then that's not really expanding and growing because you're staying in comfortability. That's why I always say that change has to come with vulnerability and you have to allow yourself to be vulnerable in change. But vulnerability is really scary because you can't control the outlook on like, like you said, I don't know what the future looks like. I don't know, I don't know what my yeah, I don't know what my future looks like. Therefore, I can't control it and that's the end. I think that's pretty much the bottom line. Is that the end that everybody wants to control? We all want to control our outlook, we all want to control our end game. We all want to know what the ending is before we've even made it a a set. But what I find interesting okay, it's a little spiritual thing in the past timelines, okay, we're going spiritual for a second in the past timelines, when I did readings, I would do readings and I was able to see your whole life like, literally, I could tell you you're going to get married, you're going to have these many kids. This is what it's going to look like. This the relationship is going to look like. This relationship is going to look like this. This relationship is going to look like that. Okay, still can do that, but here's the difference.
Speaker 1:Now, the difference in the last year, year and a half, is that we, as humans, have become more of the creators of our destiny than we were before, meaning that now we can't always see the end game. We can feel it. Some of us, like me and you, may get visions or glimpses of it, but we can't see the path necessarily to take to it, and you can't see the path to take to it unless you start taking the walk down the path. And then it's like one step unfolds and one step unfolds and one steps unfolds. And the reason is is that any switch in time this can change. That's why I tell you like I'll pick up readings on you, or I'll pick up readings and I'm like look, I can see this, but this can also alter yeah so, like now, people can't see their end game anymore like they used to, which I think is what keeps people stuck and afraid to change.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's my thoughts.
Speaker 2:I think for me, I've always been able to kind of step out, trying to step out. There's some, there's some. There's been times where I've held back and been afraid, not going to lie. But then I think about my upbringing and where I'm from and where I come from. Like Isabel knows, it wasn't my home life. I had a great home life, grew up two parents, pretty privileged, pretty well off. But it was the rest of the world around me I saw. I saw a lot of people just kind of stuck, not really wanting to move. I saw a lot of people just comfortable being in the same spot and then, if you talk to the older people, it was always the conversation shoulda, woulda, coulda. I shoulda did this when I was 21. I shoulda did this when I was 35. I'm 60, whatever years old now and I don't have nothing to show for it or yeah or, like you know, we always talk about marriage.
Speaker 2:You know, I've talked to people. I've talked to a lot of people that were happy with their marriage. But then I've also talked to people that once you get them on that liquor or you get them by themselves when they're vulnerable, it's that I should have waited. I only married her because she got pregnant, or I only married him because he made me feel comfortable.
Speaker 1:Why does this have to do with change?
Speaker 2:No, I'm bringing this up, I'm saying like settling.
Speaker 1:You're saying that people will settle all the time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because they're afraid of the change, or like they don't want to take that leap.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because they're afraid of the outcome. Instead of taking that leap, they'll settle for being comfortable. Got it Like I don't want to. I would rather be comfortable and know the end the end game versus being uncomfortable and not knowing what may lie ahead. I think that's where a lot of people sell themselves short.
Speaker 2:I mean, that's why I have a job but they don't realize it, it's not gonna hit until later down the line. I feel like a lot of people like, especially like when you're young. You know, when you're young, you think you're gonna live forever and everything is just gonna be flowers and rainbows and bubble gum. And then, as you mature and as you get older, you start looking at life like, okay, I need to get this together. Okay, I'm at this age, what have I accomplished? Okay, and time is steadily ticking. And then, before you know it, you'll be all right before you know it, you done hit.
Speaker 2:You done hit 60, 70 and you look back on your life and you're like, damn, I haven't done anything. And the reason I say that is because I have people in my family like that. I've talked to people like that that have talked to me and they've given me advice. They're like Ryan, when I was your age I was looking at things like this and I didn't think about this. But now you're in a good spot. My uncle, he's always preaching. He's like you need to buy you some land, get you some property, you know, invest your money. I mean, he didn't create that. I know they've been talking about that for a long time but, like I said, he's one of those people in my life that's kind of giving me that advice and that kind of how. Like I said, going back to the whole change thing, that's how you kind of gotta. I know that's a lot to take in, but that just kind of goes back to change where you know what is going to be the outcome, what's the end goal, what's the, what's the reward, what's the risk.
Speaker 1:You know but speaking of risk, that's also why people don't change because there's a risk, there's a fear of failure. So they're like if I know I, at least right now, I may be failing. This sounds crazy. At least right now I know I may be failing, but I can control and I know this game.
Speaker 1:If I take the leap, then I don't know that game but then you gotta, but you have you have to look at like the positive aspects yeah, I mean now, I'm not saying like you have to look at the positive aspects, and I think that's the big thing that I find with change is like when I, when I talk to people about change, it's like go ahead and stay where you're at like, stay stuck, stay, stay whatever you want, but at the end of the day, like what is, what is your positive aspects in the change itself?
Speaker 2:I think change has to be strategic, like, let's say, that is not the way change works for me.
Speaker 1:I just want you to know that.
Speaker 2:I know your life different. You look different my life is like.
Speaker 1:I don't want to use the word messy it is my life's not messy. I said I don't want to use that word.
Speaker 1:That didn't mean for you to agree that it's messy I did, though it's okay, we all here it's not messy, it just change happens really fast for me no, I mean like literally you talked about it and it's like the universe is like oh, you ain't gonna change, like we're gonna rip this out from the bottom and we're gonna change you and like, when I choose to change, I'll choose to change in a heartbeat and the next day it'll flip the script. That's like I change real fast, like there's no, like there's no hesitation when, like that's why I say when I'm done with you, I am done with you. If I'm done with something, I'm done with it, because that's how fast I change.
Speaker 2:It's like boom, boom see, I'm a little different. I let things kind of marinate and I kind of look at it like it's almost like I give you a shot, I give you a chance. It's like you know what, maybe you'll hit, maybe you oops, and I mean if you're talking in relationships yeah, I'm talking about.
Speaker 1:I'm talking about people you're talking about changing relationships that's not just like dating, that's anybody so change with anyone meaning like like co-workers, friendships, relationships yeah, like I'll look at the big picture humans, not in situations.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'll look at you. I always go to the big picture. Things like okay, where is this coming from? Where is your energy at? Why are you acting this way? Like I look at it. But then I take a step back and I'm like you know what? Let me have analyzed it, yeah, but that's your issues.
Speaker 1:You marinate too long no you. You just called me messy. I'm going to tell you right now that you marinate too long okay and how's that working for you?
Speaker 2:it's working. You know, we be over there, we be somewhere over there you know it be over there, we be somewhere over there.
Speaker 2:We don't ever know where over there is, but you know that's how your parents just be like, just go over there somewhere. You don't even know where over there is, but you know that's how your parents just go over there somewhere. He'd be like mom, well, just go over there, you don't even know where you're going. Next thing, you know, you ended up at the neighbor's house because she said go over there, you don't know um, yeah, that's a difference, though that's different, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I'll tell you what I'll think about. If I, if I'm in a relationship, a friendship, a situation, a co-working thing, if somebody what are you looking at? I? Was looking at you on tiktok, that little tiktok I just put it on um, I'll marinate for a bit. Give me about 24 hours, 48 hours. You get about 24 to two days.
Speaker 1:Damn she's doing it by the business. I am, though, like that. I can't do it. It takes too much of my energy, it takes too much stress for me to give you that. Do you have to think about it? When you are thinking about change, and let's say you're over a situation or a friendship and you are taking that time to to think about it, or, as you say, marinating it, guess what you're doing? You're giving them your energy yeah, and I think that's.
Speaker 1:I will admit that I'm like I don't need to give you my energy I gave a lot of people my energy yeah, I don't. I don't need to give you my energy yeah so I'll just take it right back like you, my shit you.
Speaker 1:So you take your basketball and go home I'll take my basketball and go home or I'll throw the ball at you and then go home see, I kick it, I kick it over the fence. You do it at me yeah, but you took a week to kick it over the fence. I'm already gone by then that's cool.
Speaker 2:I'll come find you just so I can be like you see this ball and then I kick it. I can't find you. I'm the type of person to be like oh, this is what you do, that I will, I am, I am if.
Speaker 1:I am mad. If I am mad at you, I'm gonna marinate on it and I'm like you need to respond you need?
Speaker 2:no, because, see, I think about it give me, give me a give me a second, and then two days later.
Speaker 1:You're like okay, now I'll respond.
Speaker 2:Because the thing is too, because the way I move, I know whatever, like let's just say, when I'm mad, I know once it's there I'm going to say, anything that I say is going to cut, and it's like I don't want to, I don't want to, I don't want to. I know that you tell me, I'm nice, I am nice. That's why I say I don't want to.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but you come out with this like I'm gonna cut you and you not.
Speaker 2:You're nicer than me, ryan but I'm saying that's because I refrain, because I have that, I I hold back, because that's the thing I hold back and I know I hold back, but that's the thing. I don't want to be angry like I don't want to say something to you that's gonna cut you, like I don't want to, I could. But I'm saying like I don't like if we're getting into an argument and I know I'm about to say something that's really gonna ruffle her feathers or ruffle these feathers, I'll stop because it's like what?
Speaker 1:okay, I say what I'm calling anyone's dog stupid why would you call yeah, you like.
Speaker 2:You call slim stupid, y'all. She called my dog stupid because she was mad at me. I told her you better apologize, slim. She apologized to him, but no, what I'm saying is like I don't, I'm one of those people I don't like being angry, I don't, I don't like saying evil, like I don't want to say things to like put you down, but like I know once, once you rub me the wrong way, I already have something I'm gonna say, but I'm like no, because yeah, it might feel right in that moment, but then it's gonna change everything if it depends on the person. Like I know there's certain people that if I get mad or they get mad, go ahead we can say something to each other and be like you know what?
Speaker 2:hey, this is what it is. You was mad, I was mad, it's whatever. And then there's some people I know, if I take it there with them, they they're never going to, they're going to, they're going to hold that to, like maybe to the day they die, because they're going to be like oh my God, I can't believe you said this. So it's like, yeah, I was just in the moment, but they're not going to look at it. So I always look at it like oh yeah, think about what I'm gonna say.
Speaker 1:But then there's also times where once I'm over it, I'm just gonna say it and then, whatever happens, I think that's the. I think that's the difference is that I don't like being angry or mad, but like I don't know. I think that when I'm over it, then I just, I just don't want to do my energy with it but see, I also look at it like you know.
Speaker 2:I think it kind of goes back to like you look at the person and it's like. It's kind of like when you know you can win something or you know you can just walk past them, like you know you can. Just how do you? How do I put Kind of like? It's kind of like the analogy I said Like, say, you're playing like basketball or something with your little brother or your little sister and you know you can beat them by like 30 points, but instead you either make it seem like, oh, it's such a tough game, or, oh, you let them win because you know, like you give them that.
Speaker 2:And I think that's what I've done with some people, but not in the sense of they say something crazy and disrespect me, but it's like you know what. I'm going to be the bigger person and let you have this, because I know if I say what I need to say, it's going to hurt you or it's going to do something to you that's going to affect you. It might not affect you for a long time, but it's definitely going to change our relationship because I'm going to take it there and I think for me I never want to take it there with people, people that I actually care about, and if I don't care about you, it's whatever. I'm going to say whatever, whatever, whatever. But like somebody I care about friend relationship, family, whatever. I'm going to hold back because it's like I care and love you enough that I wouldn't. I don't want to hurt you so what's for the best?
Speaker 1:let's say you're in a relationship, because that's always the thing. Question, right, you're in a relationship, a friendship, a situation, ship, a working thing, and you got to change it. You sit on it and think, or do you just just like, feel what you feel and then move?
Speaker 2:You got to look at the pros and the cons. You got to weigh in on the good and the bad. What? What do I? What do I gain? Like, say, say you're in a relationship. You know you got to break. It's like we got to call you. You're on the fence of like, should I stay or should I go? You have to.
Speaker 2:You know they always talk about emotional and logical and all this other stuff. Me. I can't speak for everybody else but for me. I always look at it like okay, what are the pros in me staying in relationships? What are the cons? What are the pros with me leaving? What are the cons? Is this a liability or asset? Am I gonna? Am I losing energy? Am I losing myself with this person? Or what am I gaining? Or I might not be gaining or losing anything. I've been in that relationship where to the girl was cool, she was nice, but I wasn't gaining nothing from it. I was helping her and helping her be better, but I was just just kind of like she was nice but I wasn't really she wasn't helping you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, I didn't need her but to help me, but it's like I'm not really. What am I getting out of this? You know so and that's and it's not saying that our relationship it's not saying don't think you do to an extent, but not like. It's not like uh, if you're when we're talking about like intimate relationship, it shouldn't be okay.
Speaker 1:I'm with you what you're gonna do for me well, no, I don't think you should ever say it or come off like that right and it just it shouldn't be like that.
Speaker 2:But what I'm saying?
Speaker 1:but there is, there is a balance of. There's a balance. Yeah, giving and giving, but it shouldn't be like that. But what I'm saying is but there is a balance of.
Speaker 2:There's a balance, yeah, giving and giving, but it shouldn't be a, it shouldn't be tally marks.
Speaker 1:No, no, but it shouldn't be tally marks.
Speaker 2:But some people I know people that they do it's a tally mark, yeah, a tally mark. Well, I took you, I'm buying you all this stuff, what you going to buy for me, and it's like it's it got me some Chick-fil-A today.
Speaker 2:I did that Chick-fil-A, that little, that little sausage cheese biscuit with a little bit of egg on there with a little egg, by the way. I ain't going to say what Chick-fil-A it was. They were slow as hell getting the order. I sat at the window for like five minutes and then the girl I don't think she was all the- way up.
Speaker 1:I went back to check.
Speaker 2:Because she just kept staring at me and she didn't say nothing. I'm like is my order coming? She's just looking at me confused.
Speaker 1:I'm like, maybe she— Okay, wait, stop, the Chick-fil-A was slow, we get it. The girl was different. Yeah, the girl was different.
Speaker 2:Yeah, all right.
Speaker 1:So relationships and change, you're saying you have to weigh the pros and cons.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you do.
Speaker 1:Okay, what about friendships?
Speaker 2:and change Same thing Pros and cons.
Speaker 1:You do me dirty.
Speaker 2:I'm out. Oh, I was like that's it Ooh.
Speaker 1:What you think I was telling you right now. I don't know the way you came at me. I'm like damn, I'm like what I'm getting attacked for? No, if you, if we are in a friendship and you do me dirty, I'm out now I'm all about.
Speaker 2:I'm all about loyalty and once for me, once you cross that line of loyalty, it's a wrap. And I used to say this luckily it only happened once. This was years. This was like 10, 10, 11 years ago. I always used to say, like, like. If you're my boy, and once you chronos, you cross, like, a certain line of loyalty, everything's off the table. So that could be the girl that you really like, whoever if that's. But it had to really be something serious to cross that line with me, to be that. And this person, he did cross a line that you just don't cross. So I went after the girl that he liked, that is dirty right got him.
Speaker 1:That's some fucking karma, Ryan. That's karma shit.
Speaker 2:That was but the thing, what he did.
Speaker 1:How many years ago was this it? Was like 10 years ago and how's everything been working out for you, since in that department Marvelous.
Speaker 2:Here we are, we here. Look, we had to go through all that to get over here.
Speaker 1:Oh, oh shit.
Speaker 2:Damn.
Speaker 1:She just.
Speaker 2:Damn.
Speaker 1:She just came at you. Okay, you want to read her comment out loud?
Speaker 2:No, it's cool Everybody. He has a lot of growing up to do. His mindset is low vibration.
Speaker 1:That's no, I don't think your mindset is all low vibration. No, I think, if anything, if you're really honest, this is okay. Thank you for your opinion.
Speaker 2:I mean I'm not. I'm not offended by the podcast.
Speaker 1:Right now we literally have tiktok and somebody said that ryan has a very, a lot of growing up to do, has low vibration. But this is what I want to. I want to state I don't think people realize the honesty that we speak at, yeah, and I think that's the thing.
Speaker 1:Ryan is just bringing different perspectives in that I don't think a lot of people are really honest and sane, and I think that's the thing. Just because he's honest, just because I'm spiritual, just because you are spiritual, doesn't mean we don't get angry, mad, upset, sad, jealous. At the end of the day, I'm still human and I think that's the thing. That in spirituality and in growth, you just have to understand that it's not about getting rid of these emotions. It's about learning how to balance and handle the emotions at a higher perspective, and I think that's where it's like he's just bringing the honesty of like this is how it is. I'm over here, he's the one saying I'm gonna give you second chances, I'm gonna listen to you, I'm gonna sit in it, I'm the one telling you I'm gonna cut you out and I think I see what she said.
Speaker 2:She just got on. So basically we were talking about.
Speaker 1:We were talking about change and how to handle change.
Speaker 2:And you said you brought up friends and like if someone does you dirty.
Speaker 1:I said I'm out.
Speaker 2:She said she was out and I said I'm a big oh wait, are you sounding like it's? We're all human, me, me, me, wiki. Oh, she walked in on the part. We were talking about the. What are we talking about the? Relationship no, I didn't say it was dang, I gotta go back, what was it? I didn't say it was all about me, me, me.
Speaker 1:I'm just saying some relationships are oh, we were saying that some relationships are all about what I can do for me. What do I get out of it? Like it is based on me, me, me, me, me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like we were basically saying, like you have some relationships that are very, when you say, transactional. So, like I have friends that have been in relationships and they keep tabs. Like I did this. It's always a tab. It's like tit for tat I did this, so you got to do this. Well, I did this, so why don't you do that? So it's always like a, and that's basically what we're getting at. There's some relationships out there that it's like yeah, what can you do for me? No, it's all good, ain't nobody tripping? Oh, no, no, no, it's all good, I ain't tripping, I ain't tripping, but no, like, what was I talking about? Oh, going back to the friendship, friendship and yeah, friendship, and I like that word.
Speaker 2:Friendship and.
Speaker 1:It's not a word.
Speaker 2:No, but you know what's crazy, so like I'll just go ahead. We all grown, so Amber's all good girl, ain't nobody tripping, it's all love. It's funny because, going back to friendship, so when Isabel and I first met I had my friends had run. I had two friends they were friends at the time and one of them, so Isabel and I started seeing each other I thought you're about to say that you had two friends.
Speaker 1:Like two people, you were already seen on the side see, that's your thought part. I see that's what I was like. I thought that's where you were going with this. This is where the confession starts that you were already seeing two. These are my confessions. You were seeing two people.
Speaker 2:No, so going back to friends, so when Isabel and I first met and we started seeing each other, I had one friend in particular and she started doing stuff out of the norm.
Speaker 2:she basically was like telling isabelle she befriended me she basically befriended isabelle and she basically told isabelle my whole life well, not my whole life story, but everything she knew she told isabelle. She told isabelle about my dating past, the women who I've been with, what I had done with these women a lot of stuff that I didn't ask her to, she showed me pictures I didn't ask she showed me pictures of the women that he did stuff with I didn't.
Speaker 2:I didn't ask her to do that either, and it really threw me for a loop, because I know a lot of y'all like uh-uh girl. But see, the thing was that had never happened before, so it was just a weird situation. Because then the girl was like she'd be hitting me up, that she, my friend, was a female and she's like what are you and isabel? You need to establish something. You can't just be out here saying y'all just rolling with it and then she'd be in isabel's ear, you need to leave him. I know that's my friend, but he ain't this and this and this. And it just came to the point. It was like, hey, you really stepping into a territory that's not yours, you really you crossing a lot of boundaries right now, you know.
Speaker 2:And then a lot of other things happened with that, but that was one of the um friendships that I had to cut off and walk away from. It's like look, this isn't going nowhere. You know you're doing me more harm than you are good, and you know, when we, when we finally cut ties, I honestly felt at peace, yeah, so basically what I'm getting at is you know, you might cut ties with somebody. Going back to that change. You might cut ties and at first it might feel weird, it might feel uncomfortable, but you know, if it was the right move, you're going to feel better about yourself. You're going to feel and that's how I feel still to this day Like I don't feel like I made the wrong decision. I feel like I'm more at peace with myself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 100%. Even with family. That's real talk.
Speaker 1:Family I got I'm going through that she, yeah, she's going through that.
Speaker 2:Um, my uncle, he's like a father figure to me and he's as much as he loves his, his, his siblings. You know my uncle's 64 and all of my mom and all of them included. They about in their 50s, 60s and my uncle, he, he keeps it real. You know, about family, he tells you all the time well, here's my question.
Speaker 1:I want to ask question if you change and if you're going through change, should your family be a part of your change?
Speaker 2:see, it depends because some some of them are not going to see that. They're not going to, so they don't see the change.
Speaker 1:They don't understand your process. They don't understand why you're changing. They don't understand who you are in this change. My question is then why do we have to go back and keep them on board? We?
Speaker 2:don't.
Speaker 1:And feed into them to say, let me guide you into my change, I don't have to guide you in my change.
Speaker 2:I don't have to let you know this is how I'm changing, or how?
Speaker 1:I'm moving or what I'm doing. You don't. I know what you're talking about. I know, I know you know what I'm talking about, but my thing is is like that's what I'm saying anyways, that's it. That's all I got to say. Okay, let's wrap this change up. Oh, all right, so where are we going with this change topic? Um they don't have to be a part of it. Right boundaries? But then you over here trying to tell me my boundaries are wrong I didn't say your boundaries were wrong.
Speaker 2:I just said what'd you say? Then I said maybe you just gotta be the bigger person what's the bigger person? It's like all right, cool, it's straight, we straight, we good, we good. That's it. You don't have to, you don't have to be like coming to my world, just be like we good, did you, did you? Text no I didn't see you ain't texting. I got texted, you gotta you gotta text back you gotta be like I got texted, you got to text back you got to be like.
Speaker 1:What's your tips? Give me three tips on change right now.
Speaker 2:Quick, I didn't study for this, you don't have to study for it.
Speaker 1:It's off the top of your head. I need three tips on change Three tips for change.
Speaker 2:One is it for the better or worse? Number two look at the big picture, Look at your current situation. And number three how is it going to affect you in the long run, Even though we don't know the end games? Is this change an asset or a liability?
Speaker 1:And though, we don't know the end games. Is this change an asset or a liability? And sometimes we don't know. Um, yeah, okay, I think those are good tips.
Speaker 2:What's?
Speaker 1:your tips. I'm gonna just ditto on you no, you can't do that.
Speaker 2:That's so ghetto. Why would you do what you can't? Just ditto my, my tips. You gotta come with your own tips I.
Speaker 1:I give tips on change all day long yeah, but these folks might not know that but your tips are good I know I feel like you're taking the easy way out.
Speaker 2:See your ass.
Speaker 1:Don't want to put change in change um, see, mine's different though, because I think when I talk to people about, like, their fear of change, it's more me asking them questions about, like, what they're afraid of. Like, like I would be like why are you afraid of change? So what happens if you stay in the situation you're in right now? Do you see it changing for the better or do you see it staying the same? And if it's staying the same, then I'm going to say take responsibility for what you can change and then, and then take that responsibility that's yours and change it. Uh. So yeah, that's what I would. That's kind of where I would say, just because mine comes more from a coaching perspective, that's where I'm like I would twist it back to you and be like what's making you stuck and why are you choosing to stay stuck? So that I'd be like what's your fears of the change?
Speaker 2:So we are playing wall ball or tennis, so I hit the ball.
Speaker 1:I mean it's what I do. I mean that's what I do all day I throw it back.
Speaker 2:Throw that back. I'm going to throw that back. That sounds so wrong.
Speaker 1:I'm going to throw that back. That sounds so wrong. I'm going to throw that back, that sounds so wrong, but that's what I would say. Yeah, but I think your tips were good.
Speaker 2:I think at the end of the day, you got to know yourself. You got to know. You just got to ask yourself. I always just ask the big picture, what's the end goal? What am I trying to accomplish? Like, what is you know? Because there's been times there's there's some stuff going on right now like I ain't gonna go into detail with it, but there's some changes. I know that's coming for me personally and I understand that it might not be what I want at this moment, but I'm also looking at it like it might be the bit for the best, because I know there's something bigger out there and I think that's what you have to look at it to.
Speaker 1:That change sometimes is forced on us and you have to look at it from that perspective too yeah. I like how someone said that he's making you do some shadow work if you do make me think it's okay, that's cool, I'm not mad about it. Alright, that's it, that's all I got that's what we got today we starting a podcast we're just gonna have. We talk a lot, but we don't write down our topics like we just like. This is a good podcast topic. This is a good podcast topic.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna just start putting it on the app. Thanks for listening to Real Talk with Isabel podcast topic.
Speaker 1:This is a good podcast topic. I'm going to just start putting it on Apple. Thanks for listening to Real Talk with Isabel Alright. We will catch you guys later, so like and subscribe for more.